For two and a half glorious years, I was the star of my own show as the only grandchild on both sides of my family. I was the leading prima-donna and nothing could distract my audience from me. I had no opposition until my sister, Jenna, came into the picture. At first she was my competitor, using the same tricks I used to get attention as a baby and soon it became impossible to outshine her. I reluctantly adjusted to her permanence on my stage and learned to share the spotlight, as long as she stayed my pet. It was a very pleasant arrangement for the next three years until one day she spoke her mind. I was shocked to find she could think for herself and pleasantly surprised to find she brought something new to the table, this time as my playmate and friend. Our relationship has been through different stages over the years, and she and I have been polar opposites in almost every way; however, it takes a little digging to see that we are similar where it counts and our relationship has stayed strong because we share the most important things in common.
When people meet me and my sister, one reaction is that they can’t imagine we are related because we look and act so differently. Physically speaking, I am a dark brunette, Jenna is a sandy blonde; I have freckles, she has creamy skin; I have green eyes, hers are pale blue. Looking past our appearances, the most obvious difference is our noise level. I am extremely extroverted and talk all the time, whereas my sister is introverted and keeps to herself. Stemming from that is my preference of being around people while she, on the other hand, is at home amongst animals and finds solitude relaxing (a concept completely foreign to me). Psychologists say that differences like these are normal amongst siblings and are—for the most part—genetic (Sanders 171).
Our differing traits have influenced the types of activities that we enjoy. I have always excelled in the academic sense, getting straight A's and Os all my years in school and high marks in honors classes. Jenna, although very smart, seemed to find her place in the creative setting and realized her talents in music and art. On our fridge at home there would be my report card next to Jenna’s paintings, equally admired and uniquely appreciated by the other. We both love the arts, but even in that category she and I have different fortes. Because I am such a people person, I am a great performer; I love public speaking, dance, theater, and singing, whereas Jenna enjoys solitary activities such as painting, writing songs, and sculpting. It seems completely backwards how our personalities translate into the athletic aspect, for I enjoy exercising for fitness for my own personal benefit; Jenna, on the other hand, likes sports and participating on teams in front of a crowd (I wonder how that happened). Experts claim that as siblings grow up, they inevitably have different experiences and those shape their inclinations towards certain activities and aversion to others (Sanders 79).
The other reaction people tend to have is that they recognize our differences right away and then start to see traces of similarities amongst them. For instance, Jenna and I both love children. However, we behave in our own ways around them; I act motherly, taking care of what needs to be done and making things run smoothly while Jenna reverts to her playful side and becomes one of them. It works out perfectly when we babysit together because I cook dinner, make sure the kids get to sleep on time, and keep the house safe while Jenna tires them out with playtime and reads them their story before bed. Another difference that is actually something we have in common is our interest in music; Jenna and I play very different instruments; my expertise is on the clarinet, whereas Jenna is a drummer and dabbles with guitar and keyboard. Our resemblance is that we are both singers—we were even in the same choir class—and we also enjoy similar styles when listening to music.
I’m not sure whether nature or nurture is to be blamed for me and my sister’s extremely differing personalities, but I know that my parents have had much to do with it. Jenna and I possess certain features of each of our parents that sometimes overlap. I’m like my mother with my punctuality and organization, but like my father for my optimism, extroversion, and idealistic views on the world. My sister is like my mother in her introversion and sense of humor, but like my father in her messiness and relaxed attitude. Although genetics may play a major part, experts say that individual differences may form from observing one parent more than the other and wanting to please either mom or dad (Sanders 171). I think that we definitely took our cues from both of our parents; listening to them helped our household remain a pleasant environment and therefore our differences did not tear us apart.
My parents noticed our dissimilarities from the start and did not encourage us to be like each another, but rather to keep our core beliefs the same and accept the other’s preferences. In fact, the difference that caused the most upheaval in our relationship was our views on organization and without the intervention of my parents we would have not kept a good relationship. Growing up in the same room, my sister and I fought constantly over who rifled through the other’s things, battling over our personal space and each of us wanting to live her own way. I remember the pure bliss I felt when I came home from fifth grade summer camp to find that my parents had moved my belongings and bed into the former den; I was finally free from the sty my sister called a room. My parents seemed to recognize when my sister and I needed separation or when we needed bonding and they gave just enough push for us to do so.
Our preferences in living styles are by no means the same, but over the years our values have stayed consistent with our parents’ and that is a key factor that keeps our relationship—both with each other and with our parents—healthy and intact. We were raised in a Christian home that has always been deeply rooted in the church. My sister and I continued to keep our faith in God even when going through adolescence and starting high school. We went through a rough move from Corona to Fullerton six years ago and that shared experience changed us but did not change our faith; it actually strengthened our trust in God and our family. We are active in our church and serious about our faith in every situation. My sister and I have been through different experiences that have shaped our unique personalities and interests, but our values have remained the same due to our faith in Christ and our common upbringing.
Jenna and I are two exceptionally different people in many aspects: looks, personalities, and hobbies. However, we are actually more alike than we appear to be. Our shared experiences in life and the wisdom of our parents kept our fundamental values the same. It hasn’t been easy over the years, but I must say that it was all worth it; we have learned to accept each other and we now have a wonderful friendship that I know will last.
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